"Fish Story": The Third Sunday in Ordinary Time

Photo Credit: Luke Wiedel of Fera Alaskan Fisheries (www.feraalaskan.com)

Homily for the Third Sunday in Ordinary Time
(First draft)

Some people have a way of taking the fun out of life.
Do you know anybody like?

We call those folks “sticks in the mud.”

Well, some people take the fun out of religion too.

We call them “literalists.”

Literalists are those who take every word in the Bible literally.

Now, I’ll be the first to say that the Bible is the Word of God
and the Word of God is true.

Did Jesus cure the sick?
Absolutely!

Did Jesus rise from the dead?
Absolutely!

The Gospels are historically grounded
and the events they report are historically grounded.

But there are some books in the Bible that are, shall we say,
a bit more entertaining?

The Book of the Prophet Jonah is one of them.

I bet if I ask anyone of you to tell me what you know about Jonah
you’d mention the improbably tale that he was swallowed by a fish,
hauled to shore
then burped out on the beach.

And you’d probably say that with a straight face
when, in reality, it’s hilarious detail
set within a very funny book.

The Bible, you see, has many different kinds of books:

There’s history.
There’s prophecy.
There’s legend.
There’s poetry.
There are songs.
Some scholars even suggest that the apocalyptic books
that literalists find so scary
can actually be read as the Bible’s version of science fiction.

The Bible is kind of like a newspaper, you see.
Some stories are the hard facts.
Some columns are someone’s opinions.
Some articles are human-interest features.
And then, of course, there are the comics.

Well, if you ask me, the Book of Jonah belongs with the comics.

That’s not to say there isn’t a serious point to the story… there is.
We’ll get to that in a minute.

But first, sit back and enjoy the story!

Jonah might be called a prophet.
But his wife…if he had a wife…would have told you that he was a grump.

The book opens with a bang:
“Jonah, go and preach against the great city, Ninevah,
because its wickedness has come before.”

Jonah doesn’t say a word.
He just high-tails it out of town
and gets on a boat going in the opposite direction.

He doesn’t like the Ninevites,
they’re wicked and mean
and he has no intention
of paying them a visit.

He buys a ticket for Tarshish instead.

On the way, a great storm comes.
The sailors row hard to get back to land.
Then they get to thinking: “The forecast was good,
so who’s causing this storm?”

Then they remember the frightened little man
hiding out down in the hold of the ship.
And it dawns on them that he’s the reason for the storm.
How do they figure this out?
The Bible states the Jonah told them he was running away from God
when he got on the boat.

Why would he tell them his personal business?
Who knows?

But the sailors pull him out of the hold
and throw him overboard.
And thus Jonah inadvertently causes his first conversions.

As he’s flaying about in the water,
the storm subsides
and the rough and tough sailors
turn into upstanding, church-going citizens:
they thank God, they make promises to God,
they offer sacrifice to God.

Jonah’s all wet, but God’s being praised!

That’s when the fish comes and swallows Jonah
and hauls him off to Ninevah
where he was supposed to go in the first place.


End of Act One.

Act Two:

The Word of God comes to Jonah:
“Go through the streets of Ninevah
telling the people they must reform their lives.”

Now Ninevah was a huge city.
It took a person three days just to walk from
the City Limit on the east
to the City Limit on the west.

Given his initial lack of initiative
a that Jonah has been through up to his point
(the storm, the waves and a gastrointestinal tour
of a big-bellied fish),
I doubt if Jonah had much enthusiasm for this job assignment.

But that’s doesn’t matter.
He no sooner gets started
when the entire city converts…just like that!

After but one day of preaching,
the entire, enormous city repents!

The king, every man, every woman…every dog,
every house cat, every donkey!

Everybody repents and starts praising God!

Everybody, that is, except Jonah.

The end of the story finds Jonah out on some barren hill
on the outskirts of town.

When God asks him what he’s doing,
he complains and belly aches and says,
“I told you they’d convert.
I knew you would forgive them.
But I’m not happy about it!
They were wicked and bad
and they deserve to die.
And I never wanted any part of this from the get-go!”

Well, as I said, the book ends with Jonah in quite a snite.

But the good news is

1) Ninevah was spared

2) God's ego isn’t as big as those of some of the people he calls.

And maybe there’s a third lesson as well:

If God can enjoy a good chuckle
when it comes to putting up with people like Jonah,
maybe we can too.